How to Avoid Paranoid Parenting
Neglecting your kids is a terrible thing. But the other extreme, paranoid parenting, can be equally harmful to your children. Which is why it must be avoided. But before we get to the part where we tell you how to go that however, let us learn exactly what paranoid parenting is.
What is paranoid parenting?
Consider this situation. You are walking along the road to a nearby grocery store with your kid, and you are so scared that someone might kidnap your kid. You react by tightly gripping your kid’s arm, and just refusing to let go for a moment. If this is you, then you might be practising paranoid parenting. We don’t mean to say that your fears are irrational but the way you react to these concerns is disproportionate.
Where does this paranoid parenting come from?
Paranoid parenting stems from a collection of thought processes that fed by fears, insecurities, failures, and disappointments – blended with the overprotective and micromanaging attitude of the parents. To better understand this, consider the following example – A first-time mother who has grown up in a hostile environment where kids bullied her in school, or grown-ups mistreated her, and who is routined, through social media and other sources, exposed to stories about children being kidnapped, trafficked, etc. All this information, consistently processed, would ultimately lead to the mother being overprotective and trying to constantly monitor her child.
What happens when you are a paranoid parent?
When you practice paranoid parenting, you are programming your kid to become even more dependent on you, making them less self-reliant. This is why overzealous paranoid parenting is virtually a crime against your child; as you are essentially killing those natural psychological abilities of a kid, that develop only when they move out of their comfort zone.
If you are someone who practices paranoid parenting, and you’re trying to rid yourself of this harmful behavior, then read on to learn about the ten best ways, suggested by experts, to avoid paranoid parenting.
- Remember how you grew up
Chances are, you would have grown up playing unattended in the lawn, left to do pretty much whatever you please. It is those idle days of playing long hours unattended that developed your creativity and initiative and helped forge you into the person you are today. Should you not want the same for your kids? - Is my fear rational or irrational?
Try to analyze whether the risk that you fear truly exists, or is just an imaginary construct. Sometimes we imagine so much that even unreal things appear to be so real. - Know where your kid will need you and where he doesn’t
As your child moves into late infancy, he or she is capable of doing most things on their own. For instance, your kid will do fine at grandma’s home, on their own. Let your child do what they can do by themselves. - Teach your kids safety
Safety is the primary concern of every paranoid parent. By instilling in your kid some good safety principles – like not entertaining strangers or always being on guard – you are building your child into a self-reliant and vigilant individual. - Don’t shelter your child always
Allow your kid to do things on its own but keep an eye on what he or she is doing. - Encourage kids to be self-reliant
Children tend to use parents as crutches sometimes. Even when they can do things on their own, they are so used to taking help from you that they call out to your every time. When this happens too often, don’t hesitate to tell your kid to handle it alone. - Be patient with your kid
If your child is struggling with doing things, don’t jump in to finish it off for the child; rather wait for them to finish on their own. They are still learning, and that will take time. - Be a mentor
Kids these days need a mentor who can be their role model and guide. Be a good mentor for your child. - Allow your kids to make mistakes
Don’t lose your temper when your child makes a mistake. Rather explain why they were wrong, instead of simply playing the blame game. - Explain things to your child
Kids expect an explanation for why they are not being allowed to do something. So when things are perilous, explain why to your kid.
If you follow these tips, you will no longer be a paranoid parent, but rather an empowering factor in your child’s life, and a great role model for them.