Educating Your Child About Sexual Abuse
Social media interaction , online sexual abuse, child porn, blackmailing, and the release of nude photos, are a common occurrence these days. You can no longer be silent. It is the time that you talk to your child about what a good touch is, what a bad touch is, how to identify wrong people, how to avoid them and report them to elders, how to be safe on social media etc.
When to educate your child
Most parents are under the notion that kids will not understand what abuse is, even if it is explained to them. But the truth is that kids become aware of gender, and their own gender identity, from the time they are in preschool. So the best time to educate kids is when they move into primary school, as they are both highly vulnerable during this time, as well as receptive to new information regarding gender, sex, abuse, etc. Though they would not understand the terms that we use, we can certainly make them understand what abuse is.
Do I need to educate only my daughter or do I have to educate my son too?
Another misconception is that only girl children are prone to abuse. But in reality, male kids are also prone to abuse. Moreover, the focus should not be only on avoiding sexual abuse, but also on educating kids to respect the opposite sex. So make sure that you educate your child, irrespective of their gender.
Don’t be hesitant
Are you a parent worried about questions like “how can I tell my child about this?” and “where do I start?” Well, remember that most of the time, it is you who is feeling hesitant, and not the child. So break out of the zone of hesitancy, and get on with the task at hand.
Teach about parts of the body
You can start by teaching your kids the real names of all the parts of their body, including sex organs. Do not feel hesitant to tell them exact names of their genitals. This will help them to communicate with you when there is an issue of someone touching them.
Don’t trust all elders
It is an unfortunate reality of child abuse that in the majority of cases, the perpetrator is someone well acquainted with the kid. Tell your children to inform you about any grown-up who they feel is behaving inappropriately with them. Do not brush any incident off lightly, even if the grown-up in question is someone you trust.
Make your children share their secrets with you
Develop a good rapport with your kids, so that they share their secrets with you. Talk with them daily and get to know what they are doing, whom they are meeting, where they are playing, etc. Usually, child sex offenders tend to threaten kids to maintain secrecy. You need to be able to break through the fear your child would feel if they are in such a situation. This is not easy. Your kid has to trust you, and earning that trust is something you have to work towards daily.
Assure your children that your love for them is permanent
Most kids do not reveal any untoward events to their parents because they fear losing their parents’ love and support. To avoid the possibility of this happening, talk to your kids regularly and assure them that you will love them irrespective of anything – be it their mistakes, their grades, their successes or failures, etc.
Use mock scenarios
Your children will be better prepared if they know what type of incidents to avoid. Give your child a scenario – for example: your children are playing in the garden when the neighbor, whom you know well, asks them to join them in a garage or any other private place. Ask your children, “how will you react?”, and then teach them how to respond in such cases. Also ask them, “how will you know what is a good touch or a bad touch?”, and teach them how to distinguish between the two. This exercise will help your children make quick decisions when such situations arise.
Assertiveness training
Teach your children to say no to anything that they are not comfortable with. For instance, if an elder person asks them to remove their shirts, tell your children to respond by saying “sorry, I cannot do that” assertively.
Through the aforementioned efforts, you can effectively teach your kids to be vigilant and avoid any untoward situations.